Movie Review: The Dark Knight Rises

Pictured: two good actors.

The Dark Knight Rises was not at all what I was expecting, but neither was I at any point surprised while watching it. In short, The Dark Knight Rises was really just another superhero movie, despite all the hype. Many have gushed over the ostensibly intellectual nature of Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy, but The Dark Knight Rises is not a superhero movie for the thinking man. It is, however, a great superhero movie.

Of course, spoilers ahead.

Movie Review: Brave

The two main characters of the movie: Merida and her hair. 

Everyone knows Pixar is good. Their newest film, Brave, certainly doesn’t disappoint, although neither will it blow anyone’s mind. Another excellent addition to their store of heart-warming tales about adolescence, Brave is a beautifully animated film that manages to tell a story that is actually occasionally original. In other words, it’s a Pixar movie.

Like all Pixar movies, the main character is the animation, which is incredible. The main character’s hair is a work of art in its own right, taking Pixar’s top animators nearly three years to perfect, the first six months of which were spent figuring whether realistic curly hair was even possible. The new computer program was named Taz, after the Tasmanian Devil cartoon character, and was immediately used for most of the rest of the hair in the film.

Add to this the phenomenal landscape shots, and the human characters almost take second stage to the amazing animated world they inhabit. The movie certainly delights in having its characters romp through the forests, mountains, and glens of the Scottish landscape that the movie attempts to capture. Scenes at the beginning of the movie include the young heroine Merida (Kelly Macdonald) riding, practicing her archery and horseback riding at the same time, and finishing by climbing a rocky cliff near a waterfall, and the animation in all of them is almost as breathtaking as the scenes would look in real life.

Movie Review: Prometheus

Not this guy.

Prometheus, directed by Ridley Scott, is not officially a prequel to the Alien franchise, but before you see Prometheus, you should definitely see Alien. It’s impossible not to see the obvious connections between the movies, with parallel themes, plots, and atmospheres. Prometheus is officially set in the same universe as the Alien movies, but is not officially directly connected to the Alien franchise. Long story short, if you liked Alien, you’ll like Prometheus, but there are certainly differences between the two movies, and Prometheus is clearly geared towards a larger audience, although that focus does not always make it a better movie.

The visuals are pretty face-meltingly awesome.

By far the best part of Prometheus is the visuals. There’s a reason that it’s been compared to James Cameron’s Avatar almost as much as it has been compared to Alien, and it’s not because of blue people (currently trying to decide if Prometheus would be much worse or much better with blue people). Starting right off the bat with panoramic shots of what is apparently prehistoric Earth and moving right into some more panoramic shots of some grass-covered Scottish mountains, the film is certainly visually pleasing. Noomi Rapace’s cheekbones don’t hurt either (although they are sharp enough to cut paper). The costumes and set design is equally striking, although the distinctive blue jumpsuits and clear helmets set quite a different tone from the original Alien movies.

Movie Review: No Strings Attached

. . . not this.

Well, it’s official. I’m a girl. There are some movies that make me think, some that entertain me, and some that make me laugh. No Strings Attached, well, I guess you could call it laughing. Don’t get me wrong, I thought No Strings Attached was a horribly clichéd movie with no original thoughts whatsoever and a plotline that perpetuates all the typical myths about love you always hear (especially today on Valentine’s Day). But, oh man, this movie was so funny I didn’t even care.

Movie Review: Black Swan

Don't bring this guy, no matter how suave and worldly he may seem.

Black Swan is, without a doubt, the scariest movie I’ve ever seen. Admittedly, I haven’t seen any good horror movies (or any horror movies, for that matter), but even if I had, Black Swan would blow them all away. However, it’s a different kind of scary, one that makes it hard to place genre-wise. “Psychological thriller” is the term being bandied around to describe it, and that’s roughly accurate, but doesn’t quite capture the depth of it. Straight-up warning: Black Swan is definitely not for younger viewers.

Upcoming Movies: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides and more

This looks about right.

Let me ask you a question: did artistic integrity stop George Lucas from making swimming pools of money off of adding three more movies to his trilogy? Of course not. So why should we expect anything different out of Disney regarding their hit Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy?

Movie Review: Tangled

They never do get his nose right.

Some of you seem to be under the impression that I hate joy, due to such articles as this, and that disappoints and saddens me. A little. I do not, in fact, hate joy (well, not always). Actually, there are occasions where I can get in touch with my inner child, and watching Tangled was one of those times. Tangled was a Disney movie that managed to actually pull off the hardest kind of movie to do well: a children’s movie.

Now, that being said, this is still a Disney movie, and you have to know what you’re getting into. The movie’s humor can get a little silly, in an animals-act-like-people kind of way. It stays away from cheap or immature laughs, but the funniest scenes involve Maximus, a horse with a clear sense of justice who will stop at nothing to hunt down main character Flynn Rider, or else a band of ruffians with mysteriously golden hearts. Reality is rarely ever flirted with, but that seems fair from a movie based on a fairy tale, and the tale of Tangled still manages to be delightful even with the fairy aspects.

Upcoming Movie: Due Date

"I'm bored. Want to make a movie?" "Yeah, sure."

In a stroke of cosmic irony, while YAMB has been falling into disrepair, the world has apparently decided to recognize our contribution. After writing an article about a girl road trip with our favorite actresses, Warner Bros. comes out with a movie that’s basically the same thing only with men. Due Date, coming out November 5, is a movie about a father-to-be who needs to get across the country to attend the birth of his child, but his only way to get there is via road trip. And it’s going to be awesome.

    

Enough of the Eagles!

Yeah. Screw these guys.

Because of this blog’s increasing nerd obsession with Lord of the Rings, and because I simply have nothing better to do, it seems as though it would be in everyone’s (i.e. my) best interest to clear up a standard misconception about Lord of the Rings, namely the eagles. Oh boy, here we go . . .

Every jerk smart-aleck who fancies themselves an English major knows about the supposed gaping plot hole of Lord of the Rings, the eagles. I mean, come on, for a classic of modern literature, Tolkien sure was dumb! Why couldn’t they just ride the eagles to Mount Doom, without all that tedious walking? Like . . . duh? This is so prevalent that there’s a popular YouTube video called “How Lord of the Rings Should Have Ended” that covers the supposed plot hole.

Movie Review: The Social Network

Yes, we're here for our Oscar nomination, please?

As I write this, I am also on my email, listening to music (Buffy the Vampire Slayer music) on iTunes, and of course on Facebook. Of course when I say The Social Network, the first thing most people think is “oh yeah, that one movie about Facebook, right?” Well, yes and no. Technically it’s about the guy who invented Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg (played by Jesse Eisenberg), and the two lawsuits he went through over the invention (discovery? creation?) of Facebook. But of course, just like Facebook, there’s way more than just that. In fact, the movie is about Facebook, despite the fact that the only time Facebook is actually shown is the exceedingly old main page, and Mark’s own Facebook page right at the end. The Social Network ends up being a comprehensive, lovingly crafted yet critical view of modern culture in general, as exemplified by Facebook.

Yet Another Movie Sequel: Sherlock Holmes 2

Yes please.

Well, as long as we’re talking about movie sequels, the movie sequel news of the week is, of course, Sherlock Holmes 2. Besides Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law, who made the first movie extremely good-looking, there are a host of other actors getting tacked on to the project, suggesting that this could be the go-to Christmas movie blockbuster of Aught-Eleven (I guess it’s not really aught-anything, but it sounds nice), with the release date set as December 16, 2011. And of course, Robert Downey Jr. is always fun to look at.

Upcoming Film: Avatar 2

ANOTHER blue people movie?!

To a deafening lack of surprise, James Cameron announced the start of filming on an as-yet-untitled movie that is being referred to simply as “Avatar 2.” Cameron has said he doesn’t particularly like the “Avatar 2” title since, as he says “he’s not an avatar anymore, is he?” True. Well, then, what will the point of the movie be, you may ask? Well, besides making absurd buckets of money, Cameron said he intends to focus on the oceans of his created planet of Pandora, as well as on the spirituality of his created race, the Na’vi. Of course, this being James “go big or go home” Cameron, there will be much, much more than that, in eye-watering CGI.

MTSBM: The Lay of Leithian

 I don't want to talk about it.

As we all know, the Lord of the Rings film trilogy is a marvel of modern film-making. More importantly, though, it made scads of money. The obvious Hollywood response to such an obvious cash cow is to milk it for all it’s worth, and to that end The Hobbit will be released in two parts sometime in the next five years. But The Hobbit is a happy children’s tale, not the gritty epic that is Lord of the Rings. I mean, come on, in the book, the main character wins the One Ring to Rule Them All in a riddle contest, and spends most of the climactic battle unconscious. Oh, and it has an even worse deus ex machina than Lord of the Rings. But even if The Hobbit does bomb, Hollywood executives need not fear! Because Tolkien had significantly more than just Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit up his literary sleeve. Tolkien wrote entire detailed histories of Middle-Earth, going back all the way to it’s creation, with stories spanning thousands of years. That’s a lot of movies. But one of these is so perfectly suited to be a movie that it’s almost shocking no Tolkien nerd has ever sent this idea off to MGM, and that is the Lay of Leithian, or Release from Bondage, possibly called more simply “Of Beren and Luthien.” The story goes sort of like this:

Joseph's Top Ten List of the Decade ('00 to now (Sept. '10))

Spoiler Alert . . .

Well, after Ben did his Top Ten of the Decade list, I thought I would just copy him with my own personal take on the best films of the decade. A couple notes: I haven't seen vast amounts of the movies released this decade, so if you have some ideas of what might be better than these movies, feel free to throw them out there. I'd love some suggestions for more awesome movies. Also, this is influenced a lot by my personal opinion, rather than attempting to objectively analyze the best films of the decade (not that this list is completely subjective), so if you're appalled by any of my choices, remember that that's a personal insult to me, 

so . . . way to go.

Upcoming Films: Zooey Deschanel News

Obsessed? Me? What are you talking about?

For all you out there obsessed with Zooey Deschanel (you are out there, right? It’s not just me, right? You guys are obsessed too? No? Whatever.) here are the latest news slash rumors about her upcoming projects.

How could this go wrong?

Firstly, and most concretely, she’s set to appear in upcoming film My Idiot Brother as one of the three sisters of Paul Rudd’s “idiot brother” character. Although I’m mostly a Paul Rudd skeptic, her fellow sisters, played by Emily Mortimer and Elizabeth Banks, seem at least passable, and despite the title the movie looks to be quite different from his more uncouth movies (I Love You, Man, Knocked Up, etc.). Each of the sisters lets Rudd’s character stay with them for a period of time, engendering much family bonding as the (presumably) endearing loser younger brother helps them recognize their problems, such as workaholism or, in Zooey’s case, coldness and lack of intimacy. This aloofness is damaging Zooey’s character’s relationship with her girlfriend (yes, you read that right), and it’s pretty clear that a movie involving Zooey Deschanel as a bisexual can hardly fail to be awesome. Hopefully this movie will stay away from the more raunchy jokes, and stick to entertaining comedy, but I will confess to some fear about this movie’s quality. We’ll have to wait and see.

MTSBM: Ridin' in My Car

Oh . . . too soon.

One thing's for sure:
it will involve these sunglasses.

As far as the ultimate movie goes, many have posited several theories for what it would look like. Some envision it as the ultimate action movie (of course, after The Expendables, that’s pretty much shot), while others see it as a romantic comedy involving their favorite actors (again, depending on which actors this is, it probably already exists). The critic types imagine it as the ultimate meaningful psychological drama that finally reveals the depths of the human psyche once and for all. Some maintain that the ultimate movie either already exists or can never exist. While I do admittedly find myself among the latter camp, I have a vision for a movie that would probably be my favorite of all time. I would watch this movie multiple times in theaters, buy it when it came out on DVD (possibly also multiple times) and force my friends to watch it so many times that, despite its glory, they would inevitably groan as soon I gleefully pulled it out and forced it into the player before they could rip it from my hands. This movie goes something like this:

Upcoming Movie: Your Highness

Watching this movie will make you almost as cool as these guys.

As a self-professed Zooey Deschanel stalker, all of her upcoming movies are sources of great excitement for me, but Your Highness should be a genuinely entertaining movie. Everything about this movie promises laughs aplenty, from the irreverent premise to the actors to the writer. The writer I’m referring to is Danny McBride, who also wrote the ludicrously silly Hot Rod, a favorite here at YAMB which stars Andy Samberg in a ridiculous coming-of-age role. Danny McBride also stars in Your Highness, as a slacker younger prince who must man up to save the kingdom from darkness and evil.

Yet Another Movie Review: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

"Remind me why I'm interested in you?" "My pink hair."

Some movies are what I like to call “lukewarm:” a movie that just can’t decide what it is. Whether it’s a serious-but-silly comedy, or an action flick with almost political overtones, this is a movie that would be better off picking one thing or the other and sticking with it. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, whatever its flaws, is not lukewarm. From the get-go, this movie only tries to do one thing, entertain, and it does that one thing excellently. From over-the-top fight scenes, to wacky comic-book-style visuals, to a host of amusing characters, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World keeps you laughing all the way through.

Movie Review: Despicable Me

This about sums up my feelings towards this movie.

Have you ever seen something that was supposed to be cute, but just ended up being weird, dumb, or outright creepy? Like a clown your parents hired for your birthday that gave you nightmares for years afterwards? Or perhaps a doll your parents gave you when you were three whose eyes follow you around the room? The film Despicable Me is a little like this, only stupider. It’s supposed to be a cute, happy, somewhat silly story about a “villain” who realizes he’s actually a nice person, only absolutely nothing in it is believable, cute, or in any way interesting. Indeed, some parts even manage to be unintentionally creepy, sort of like that clown you have that recurring nightmare about (you guys get that too, right?).

Movie Review: (500) Days of Summer

The whole movie is like this.

Expectations, as we all know, have a tendency to be significantly different than reality. So I need to be careful what I say, because about this movie, I might have a tendency to set up the expectations of you, dear reader, to unrealistic heights. (500) Days of Summer is one of the best-made, most entertaining movies I’ve seen in my entire life (and I’m not just saying that because I’m obsessed with Zooey Deschanel (no, really)). Not only was it an excellent movie, but it was that rare exotic artifact quickly disappearing from movie-making: an original, hard-to-define movie. (500) Days of Summer just never does exactly meet expectations, no matter what you’re expecting.