Thursday, October 28, 2010

What's Wrong with My Horror Films?!

“I recognize terror as the finest emotion and so I will try to terrorize the reader. But if I find that I cannot terrify, I will try to horrify, and if I find that I cannot horrify, I’ll go for the gross-out. I’m not proud.” ~Stephen King

Seriously. What’s wrong with my horror films? The short answer: everything. From the one-dimensional characters to the flimsy plot lines to the smattering of gore from good-looking people, horror has become horrifically awful. Unfortunately, in the day and age of the slasher/torture porn flicks and remakes, the bloodier and the skimpier the outfits, the better. Not to mention, these films are dirt cheap to produce, and they draw a ridiculous amount of people who flock stupidly to go watch the trash.
Even this guy is confused.
Okay, maybe I’m being a little too harsh. Sure, some horror films capture the meaning of what it takes to be a “horror film.” But what IS a horror film? A quick glance at the all-powerful Wikipedia, “horror films” are “unsettling movies that strive to elicit the emotions of fear, disgust and horror from viewers.” Well... emotions such as “fear” or “horror” don’t really hit me when watching these abundant splatter films, but I definitely have my disgust-o meter short-circuiting. You would think that audiences can waste only so much time at the theaters watching the latest bimbos getting chopped and disemboweled after a romantic romp in the woods with their now-dead boyfriends. However, this, dare I say “logical,” thought process is quite the opposite. In fact, American audiences can’t get enough of the latest gore-nogpraphy. So, maybe the question of “what’s wrong with my horror films?” should really be: “What’s up with people wasting money on slasher flicks?”

Monday, October 25, 2010

Upcoming Movie: Due Date

"I'm bored. Want to make a movie?" "Yeah, sure."

In a stroke of cosmic irony, while YAMB has been falling into disrepair, the world has apparently decided to recognize our contribution. After writing an article about a girl road trip with our favorite actresses, Warner Bros. comes out with a movie that’s basically the same thing only with men. Due Date, coming out November 5, is a movie about a father-to-be who needs to get across the country to attend the birth of his child, but his only way to get there is via road trip. And it’s going to be awesome.