Weeping and Gnashing of Teeth (The Dark Knight Rises Update)

Bats, the Third. aka The Dark Knight Rises.

Deep breaths, me, DEEP BREATHS. 

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat process. 

Okay, now I'm sitting down. 

Sigh. 

Why so upset? 

The Princess and that guy from Inception.

Well, as some of you may have heard (and you probably have because the Interwebz are all abuzz with the latest movie nugget.), Anne Hathaway and Tom Hardy will be playing Bane and Catwoman. Let me switch that... Catwoman and Bane; although, it doesn't really matter to me because either way two talented actors are getting two ridiculously pathetic characters to play.

Okay, more deep breaths needed. 

Sigh.

Well. . .

As fellow blogger, Ben, posted on my Mark "Not a Douche, but Maybe a Little Bit Douchey" Zuckerberg created Facebook wall, linking me to the news, he said, "This is just silly."  

Agreed.

Why, you ask? Well, friends, keep reading.

Where to start, where to start?

Perhaps I'm slightly annoyed that my dreams of The Riddler being included were not seen to fruition, even though I wrote this glamorous article, pleading Nolan to add him to the Nolan-verse. Huh. Who whudda thought that a really small-time blogger about movies wasn't heard by the Big Guys? Go figure.

Ego aside, I'm just not that into the idea of having Selina "Catwoman" Kyle incorporated into the story, and I am certainly skeptical of Tom Hardy's Bane. (But as one of my friends told me, "Tom Hardy! He's so hot!" So. . . yeah.)

Don't get me wrong, I love, love, love (there I said it three times, so it has to be true) Tom Hardy and Anne Hathaway. Great young, upcoming actors, who should have illustrious careers ahead them, to add onto their already phenomenal credentials. I love the acting choices. 

I just have a problem with who the actors are acting.

Although the press released stated that "Selina Kyle" will be include into the Nolan trilogy, most inferred this meant that Catwoman would be making an appearance, one way or another. Even though they could just leave her as said "Selina Kyle," that would just be an annoying ploy to leave it open for a spin-off for a "legit" Catwoman movie. The more likely would be to include the character's alter ego, Catwoman. However, Catwoman's backstory would be really hastily thrown together, which in turn, severely stunts a potentially nice character development. 

The character of Bane does not seem to fit in with the Nolan universe. And, I guess we're all trying to forget that one Bane in that one movie with George Clooney. /SHUDDER. He's a hulking, yet intelligent rival to The Dark Knight, mostly known for being featured in the Knightfall story arc. In Knightfall, Bane breaks Batman's back, causing Bruce Wayne to question his ability. It's a rather dark and grim storyline that could fit, but it seems to not fit well with where the second film, The Dark Knight, left off. Could Azrael be included to the third Bats film? Could that totally fit? Yeah and sure. Does Catwoman fit in that story arc? No. 

As those of us who have seen the second installment to the Nolan Trilogy, Batman is being chased by the police, and probably going to be hated by the general public. He becomes a "savior" figure, by bearing the brunt of the crimes committed by Harvey "Two-Face" Dent. 

Now, how does that work with the inclusion of Bane and Catwoman? I'm not quite sure... I guess it gives Bruce Wayne/Batman a love interest and an emotional enemy, but still, that's a cheap ploy for an attempted love interest that won't really go anywhere (or it shouldn't work) in only one movie. Bane gives Bats a physical rival, FINALLY. Fellow blogger, Blackthorne, Esq., told me that Catwoman could work, if they tie it in by using her to point out that Batman loves his life as a vigilante, too much. Wayne may also learn to understand that a criminal could be a person just like him, not some random guy he routinely smashes to a pulpy mess. Both of us (and I'm sure my other blogmates would agree) question the connection that will have to be made between Catwoman and Bane. And, again, hastily thrown together characters totally kill the movie. Example A: Spider-Man 3. I believe one example is enough.

Okay, so this is pretty neat-o. 

Even though I am overjoyed that the The Dark Knight Rises not only has a title (albeit a really obnoxious one) but also tangible cast members and characters, I rather liked the ambiguity and guessing who would be who. Now that's gone, and I'm slightly miffed, even more perturbed at the choices. 

However, if there is anyone who can make the ridiculous into the fantastic, it's mastermind Chris Nolan. And let's be honest, to put it bluntly, this movie isn't going to suck. 

Geronimo,

Peter S