Movie Review: No Strings Attached

. . . not this.

Well, it’s official. I’m a girl. There are some movies that make me think, some that entertain me, and some that make me laugh. No Strings Attached, well, I guess you could call it laughing. Don’t get me wrong, I thought No Strings Attached was a horribly clichéd movie with no original thoughts whatsoever and a plotline that perpetuates all the typical myths about love you always hear (especially today on Valentine’s Day). But, oh man, this movie was so funny I didn’t even care.

This movie is basically the same as every other romantic comedy in the world: boy meets girl. Boy and girl are awkward. Boy and girl get together. Boy and girl break up due to misunderstanding. Boy and girl get back together. The plot is unoriginal and mechanical, which on the upside leaves you free to completely ignore it, but on the downside, well, is boring. I’m not particularly worried about spoiling this movie because, seriously, you’ve seen this movie before, just with different actors.

Seriously, what is with his face?

And the actors are, for the most part, nothing special. I’m a fan of Natalie Portman, for sure, but if you aren’t, then that won’t make much of a difference. The male lead is played by Ashton Kutcher and the only thing I really can say about Ashton Kutcher is that his face looks funny. In a good way. Probably. There aren’t really any other characters of note, besides all the typical characters you need in a romantic comedy just to drive the plot along. There are some entertaining actors though, including Kevin Kline as Adam’s (Ashton Kutcher) creepy dad, Cary Elwes as a totally random doctor and Ludacris as one of Adam’s obligatory guy friends. Seriously. Ludacris.

The only thing about the movie that seems to be worth watching is the relationship between Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman’s characters. At first glance, it seems wildly different than other romantic comedies: the guy is the one who wants a firm relationship, and the girl just wants sex with no emotional attachments. But after watching the movie, you realize that any attempt to upend gender stereotypes flops completely, assuming there was ever any attempt at all. The movie ends up just running like every other romantic comedy ever, with everything ending happily after a giant outpouring of feelings at the end.

Also, carrot flowers. Actually, those are just carrots.

But despite all of this, I still liked this movie. It was the humor that got me. This movie’s particular brand of quirky humor made me laugh really hard, from random lines like “you eat like a baby dinosaur” delivered in Ashton Kutcher’s ridiculously silly voice, to the creation of a “period mix CD” for when Natalie Portman is on her period, including songs like “Bleeding Love,” “Even Flow,” and (sacrilegiously funny) “Sunday, Bloody Sunday.” Far and away the best parts of this movie are the random one-liners thrown in, like “Someone call Charlie Brown, because we found the Great Pumpkin!” Hilarities like this may be the only reason to watch this movie, but if you have the same kind of humor as me, that might well be reason enough.

Rating: Like

Death and Glory,

Joseph