Thursday, September 23, 2010

Upcoming Film: Avatar 2

ANOTHER blue people movie?!

To a deafening lack of surprise, James Cameron announced the start of filming on an as-yet-untitled movie that is being referred to simply as “Avatar 2.” Cameron has said he doesn’t particularly like the “Avatar 2” title since, as he says “he’s not an avatar anymore, is he?” True. Well, then, what will the point of the movie be, you may ask? Well, besides making absurd buckets of money, Cameron said he intends to focus on the oceans of his created planet of Pandora, as well as on the spirituality of his created race, the Na’vi. Of course, this being James “go big or go home” Cameron, there will be much, much more than that, in eye-watering CGI.

Now, technically speaking, Cameron hasn’t officially signed on to a potential deal for an Avatar 2, but has spoken extensively on the subject, and presumably no Hollywood producer in their right mind would pass up on the opportunity to milk a cash cow of such ludicrously large proportions (as we can see from the two-part Hobbit (oh, too soon)), so the only thing left is to announce the release date, which will probably be in three or four years, which is 18 months less than it took to film the first Avatar. Oh, and Cameron has also hinted extensively at a third Avatar movie which would focus on an entire ‘nother frickin’ planet. Go figure.

However, Cameron has also thrown around the idea of training a replacement director during the second movie, who could direct the third one. So there is a vague possibility that one day the top grossing film of all time might not be directed by James Cameron. It’s also unclear which actors will be returning. Presumably the main character, played by Sam Worthington, will be returning, but there are rumors of Sigourney Weaver returning, despite the fact that her character (SPOILER ALERT) dies, and Cameron has made it clear that the movie will not be a prequel. Of course this being James Cameron and a pantheistic spiritual civilization, the possibility of reincarnation of some sort should not be ruled out.

Hopefully this guy shows up, chomping on submarines.
James Cameron is also hoping to cut down on the costs of the sequel, saying his goal for the prequel is to do it “at half the price and in half the time.” Of course, this could be difficult, since we’re talking about James “bigger and better” Cameron, who is apparently planning on filming part of the movie at the bottom of Challenger Deep, the deepest surveyed point in the world, 6.8 miles underwater. Why?? Just for the heck of it, probably, but also to win the X-prize, which, oddly enough, has nothing to do with skate- OR snowboarding, but is instead given to people who do crazy stuff in the name of science. Like film a blockbuster movie at the bottom of the freaking ocean. Of course, this isn’t much new for Cameron, who used footage of the actual Titanic wreckage in his movie, as well as directing underwater movies like Ghosts of the Abyss and Aliens in the Deep.

Well, since it won’t be called “Avatar 2,” the obvious question to be endlessly debated by people who have nothing better to do (e.g. me) is what the title will be? Groundswell? Under the Sea? Typhoon? I’m assuming it will be a single, obscure, catchy word, possibly related to marine ecosystems, but not necessarily. Any ideas?

Death and Glory,


  1. Oh, Cameron. If he had any balls left he'd go and make "Avatar 2: I'd Nuke The Site From Orbit, It's The Only Way To Be Sure," starring Michael Biehn as Admiral Jim Hammernator, Milla Jovovich as Come On This Is A James Cameron Movie So We Need Someone Who Appears To Be A Strong Woman But Is Actually Not, and Vin Diesel as Riddick.

  2. Since it's a James Cameron movie, I assume there will be some kind of anti-military jargon, humans are evil, yay blue people crap.

    I hate that guy...


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