Saturday, July 24, 2010
I Enjoy It When An Undertaking Coagulates (Character Intro: Blackthorne)
Good evening, reader. Or perhaps, reader, good day. It's evening for me.
Dear reader, I watch movies and television on a regular basis, because it is less stressful and expensive than finding a girlfriend. Sometimes I enjoy this pastime. More often, I break down, foam at the mouth at the abject stupidity to which I am witness, and then turn the damn thing off. I then rant incoherently about it on the internet, making increasingly heavy and annoying use of italics.
My name is Blackthorne, Esquire, or more accurately that is the obviously fake name by which I go in order that the cyberpolice (or perhaps, reader, you) do not descend upon me personally when I inevitably rustle your jimmies. You see, reader, I am under no illusions about my incoherent ranting. It tends to draw reprisal in kind. In some circles, this is known as the time-honored staple of trolling: in others, it is more eloquently known as NO U.
And indeed, reader, there will be incoherent ranting. If you have movie news, and I have movie news, and I have a very good internet connection - there it is, that's an internet connection, you see? - Are you watching? - and my connection reaches across the internet and starts to read your movie news - I rant about your movie news! I rant about it!
Again, good evening.